This is only my
third post after the personal account of my trip to Humpi last year. The thing
about writing blogs is that the place or occasion has to really inspire you to
write. This means taking out some valuable time from your hectic—a word to
describe myself as a very important person—schedule. Well, Humpi certainly
deserved my valuable time, and now being 32 in another such momentous occasion.
As I look back on all the moments I’ve lived so far, here are some important
life-changing experiences.
1.
Work is worship: If you are a person with a normal career trajectory,
it is possible you may have completed a decade of professional work experience.
At 32, the last ten years of work ex might just feel a total mithya ( myth), it will dawn upon you that you were born to change the course of
history and not be history. the next thing you will do is to buy
a new Iron Man suit and like every post by the Aam Aadmi party in Facebook,
angrily stare at kids who litter , moral police nastily outside BIG NASTY, give endless sessions on historic values to fresh batch of new recruits and will be an ardent follower of Arnab Show in Times Now thus realising the true meaning of Democracy.
2.
Upping your wellness quotient: Carbs, cheese and oil will, overnight, become your
greatest foe. The pot belly which stood by your side through
every thick and thin crust will now be your sworn enemy. You will hit the
gym, dig into all sorts of health food, look up the Web and will turn into best
quack dietician thus giving Leena Mogre a run for her money.
3.
Family first: Now’s when you will start taking interest in all the
gossip your mother has to share. And your bitchiness masked as curiosity will
only get worse.
4.
You will start finding younger girls attractive: No, not for the obvious reasons. At 32, you will
start to wonder what makes these girls so ridiculously artificial and irritatingly
cute and boring. And these were the same kind of girls you loved to chase in college.
5.
Single malt only: Your digestive system will automatically adjust
itself only to single malts and the elusive bourbon that’s hard to find in a
duty-free shop. Royal Stag, Signature and Antiquity will vanish from your
dictionary. Note: JD is not a bourbon.
6.
Sale
7.
Social networking: You will start spending a lot of time on Facebook. Not
because of its innovative algorithm, but because your 2,000 friends list will
not miss any opportunity to show off their cool lifestyles, making every
achievement of your last 32 years purely worthless.
8.
Travel: It will suddenly dawn on you that you haven’t seen the world while the
rest of the world has crashed Facebook with their numerous travel albums and
selfies. You will spend endless hours on travel blogs and sites, only to find
yourself at Kashid beach resorts or Manas resort in Igatpuri during Ganpati
holiday.
9.
Silence: The phone will not ring at 12 am anymore. In fact, it’s never going to ring.
You will have to be happily satisfied with long SMSes with emoticons , Whatsapp messages and Facebook wishes, impersonalised
communication in the personalised digital age.
10. And lastly , your birthdays will never be a mega
PR exercise with friends, friends of friends/girlfriends/boyfriends &
acquaintances rubbing shoulders with each other in that cool Bandra pub. It
will be a very quiet affair with friends who will not just like your FB post,
but truly like you in real life too.
A very happy 32 birthday
to me!
